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 Jokes

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3D
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Sun Sep 12, 2010 11:45 pm

"I hear thing king is making us pay for every time we use our thumbs, and using the money to pay for the ropes to hang people!"

"That's terrible! Who heard of using thumb tax to hang people?"

Signing off,
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Sun Sep 12, 2010 11:57 pm

lolwut?
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Terwynd
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Mon Sep 13, 2010 3:33 am

Thought this up yesterday:
On his birthday, a boy got three books. when the parents left, he decided to check out the books. When he opened the first one, it made a suction noise, and the book got filled with air, as if it hasn't been opened for years. when he closed the second one, it generated a powerful gust of air in his face. the third one was apparantly a rat outhouse, with rat droppings on the pages. when the parents came back they asked him how the books were. the boy said, "The first one sucks, the second one blows, and the third one is full of s***!"
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Gelatino95
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Mon Sep 13, 2010 6:33 am

3DBlenderRender wrote:
"I hear thing king is making us pay for every time we use our thumbs, and using the money to pay for the ropes to hang people!"

"That's terrible! Who heard of using thumb tax to hang people?"

Signing off,
3DBlenderRender
Lol, thumb tacks. I had to think about that one for a while.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Mon Sep 13, 2010 2:28 pm

Terwynd wrote:
Thought this up yesterday:
On his birthday, a boy got three books. when the parents left, he decided to check out the books. When he opened the first one, it made a suction noise, and the book got filled with air, as if it hasn't been opened for years. when he closed the second one, it generated a powerful gust of air in his face. the third one was apparantly a rat outhouse, with rat droppings on the pages. when the parents came back they asked him how the books were. the boy said, "The first one sucks, the second one blows, and the third one is full of s***!"
:Laff:
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Gelatino95
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Nov 19, 2010 5:42 am

Nerd joke:

What do you say to a person who steals your golden watch?

... Au! (Say it out loud to understand)
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Nov 19, 2010 9:52 am

I got this from an old cartoon:

1st Guy: Thanks for letting me use your toilets. I like how your toilets are shaped like dinosour eggs.

2nd Guy: Um, the toilets ain't shaped like dinosour egg. The sinks are.

1st Guy: Oh. Urm, then what did I was my hands in? Sick

2nd Guy: O_O
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Nov 19, 2010 6:04 pm

Hehehe....

What is the difference bewteen a duck and a tiger?

The duck has no stripes!!! XD

Haha.. Ha...
:I

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Nov 19, 2010 7:40 pm

Gelatino95 wrote:
Nerd joke:

What do you say to a person who steals your golden watch?

... Au! (Say it out loud to understand)

Hehe I like that one :D

Gamer027 wrote:
I got this from an old cartoon:

1st Guy: Thanks for letting me use your toilets. I like how your toilets are shaped like dinosour eggs.

2nd Guy: Um, the toilets ain't shaped like dinosour egg. The sinks are.

1st Guy: Oh. Urm, then what did I was my hands in? Sick

2nd Guy: O_O

Or what did he go to the toilet in?...
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Nov 19, 2010 8:17 pm

Gelatino95 wrote:
Nerd joke:

What do you say to a person who steals your golden watch?

... Au! (Say it out loud to understand)

best. joke. evah.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:42 pm

Dark_Heroics wrote:
Gelatino95 wrote:
Nerd joke:

What do you say to a person who steals your golden watch?

... Au! (Say it out loud to understand)

best. joke. evah.

That joke. Was. fantastic. I might actually use that one...
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Sat Nov 20, 2010 1:02 am

Gamer027 wrote:
I got this from an old cartoon:

1st Guy: Thanks for letting me use your toilets. I like how your toilets are shaped like dinosour eggs.

2nd Guy: Um, the toilets ain't shaped like dinosour egg. The sinks are.

1st Guy: Oh. Urm, then what did I was my hands in? Sick

2nd Guy: O_O

Or what did he go to the toilet in?...[/quote]

The sink. oh my!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Thu Dec 02, 2010 3:31 am

Did you ever hear the one about the vacuum cleaner?

It really sucks.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:51 pm

Gelatino95 wrote:
Did you ever hear the one about the vacuum cleaner?

It really sucks.
:Laff:

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Thu Dec 02, 2010 7:28 pm

Gelatino95 wrote:
Did you ever hear the one about the vacuum cleaner?

It really sucks.

XD Reminds me of another one that's a bit lamer, I admit:
"Did you hear the joke about the jump rope?"
"Skip it." roll Nothing compared to the vacuum cleaner one, though.

Signing off,
3DBlenderRender
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Dec 03, 2010 12:08 am

Quite long, but worth reading:

A teacher tells a little kid "Go learn your alphabet".

So, when the kid gets home he asks his dad, who is fixing a shelf "What's the first lesson of the alphabet?"
His dad hits his thumb and says "@!#%*"

The kid then goes to his mum, who is playing darts.
"What's the second letter of the alphabet?"
"One Hundred and EIGHTY!"

Then he goes to his sister, who is listening to music.
"What's the third letter of the alphabet?"
"Yeah, yeah baby!"

Then he goes to his baby brother, who is playing with his car.
"What's the fourth letter of the alphabet?"
"My little brum brum car!"

The next day his teacher asks "Have you learnt your alphabet?"
"@!#%*"
"How many times have I told you not to swear!?"
"One hundred and EIGHTY!"
"Do you want to see the headmaster?"
"Yeah, yeah baby!"
"And how do you think you can get out of this one?"
"My little brum brum car!"
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Dec 03, 2010 12:10 am

Did you hear the joke about the skunk?

It really stinks.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Dec 03, 2010 3:23 am

He he

What's the most common French expression?
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Dec 03, 2010 3:41 am

Kitty wrote:
Okay, this next one is ACUALLY pretty funny.

A blonde, A brunette, and a redhead have been kidnapped by a Murderer and the Murderer tell them that they can go free IF they can manage to shove 10 fruits up their butt. (Yeah, I know. O__o) and they are not allowed to show any emotion while the do it, or he kills her. The redhead tries with apples. She manges to do 4, but then she starts screaming in pain. She's dead. The brunette tries with grapes. She is up to her 10th grape, but she then bursts out in laughter. She's dead.

In Heaven, the Redhead asks the Brunette why she started laughing right at the end, as she was doing so well. The brunette answered: "Because I saw the blonde come in with Pineapples!"

XD

that's the only one i really laughed at
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Dec 03, 2010 3:44 am

byball9 wrote:
He he

What's the most common French expression?
Oui oui? Por quoi? Des Moines?
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Dec 03, 2010 3:48 am

byball9 wrote:
He he

What's the most common French expression?

Ou Voi is the most I've heard.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Dec 03, 2010 3:53 am

Answer: I give up
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Dec 03, 2010 4:03 am

byball9 wrote:
Answer: I give up

tricky...
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Dec 03, 2010 4:10 am

byball9 wrote:
Answer: I give up
That reminds me of another joke:

Why are the trees in Paris planted so close together?

Because the British like to march in the shade.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Fri Dec 03, 2010 7:38 am

kobbleykobkob wrote:
Quite long, but worth reading:

A teacher tells a little kid "Go learn your alphabet".

So, when the kid gets home he asks his dad, who is fixing a shelf "What's the first lesson of the alphabet?"
His dad hits his thumb and says "@!#%*"

The kid then goes to his mum, who is playing darts.
"What's the second letter of the alphabet?"
"One Hundred and EIGHTY!"

Then he goes to his sister, who is listening to music.
"What's the third letter of the alphabet?"
"Yeah, yeah baby!"

Then he goes to his baby brother, who is playing with his car.
"What's the fourth letter of the alphabet?"
"My little brum brum car!"

The next day his teacher asks "Have you learnt your alphabet?"
"@!#%*"
"How many times have I told you not to swear!?"
"One hundred and EIGHTY!"
"Do you want to see the headmaster?"
"Yeah, yeah baby!"
"And how do you think you can get out of this one?"
"My little brum brum car!"

XD Really funny, I've heard it a bunch of ways, but this way is actually pretty funny.

Signing off,
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes   Today at 8:24 pm

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