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 Security Breach

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camelfox
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Age : 20
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PostSubject: Security Breach   Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:24 pm

my newest adventure is out! it's caled Security breach, and it on a scale from 1-10 (hardness) around 8-9
it takes lace on the sea floor of Jupiter's moon, europa.

here is the starting text:

Incoming Transmition: THIS IS BASE 5 CALLING. ALL SHIPS RETURN TO BASE IMMEDIATELY. SECURITY BREACH. BE ON ALE- *bzzt*



pic ith clicky. anyhoo, please play, and take a moment to rate, comment, and post your thoughts here!
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Pintoz
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PostSubject: Re: Security Breach   Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:37 pm

U-Hum.. *Takes in a lost of stuff*

1) When i had done 5 objectives i was supposed to go to a reactor. You say your supposed to go to a ship, But there is NO ship.

2) There is a big battlefiled with qoncrixes. Why? How?

3)Where is the sea? There is no water!

4) it's kinda dark... But i guess it's okay..

5) Oh, grammar camel. grammar.
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camelfox
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PostSubject: Re: Security Breach   Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:42 pm

1) ok, i'll make it clear where the ship is in V2.

2) i'll explain that the grox want the planet for a base, and you are there, so the send the conqrix to exterminate your base

3) it's UNDER the ocean glass....

4) dark is because no light reached 20 miles under the ocean.

5) i may do some grammar isures

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Ferrety
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PostSubject: Re: Security Breach   Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:46 pm

1) It's too dark. It's too easy to get lost. Make it a little bit brighter.

2) It can be hard to find where the canyon start. I would put the lights pointing towards the crabs to make it easier.

3) As Glass said, grammar.

4) Maybe just make some stuff easier to find. Lights?
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camelfox
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PostSubject: Re: Security Breach   Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:47 pm

v2 shared....

http://www.spore.com/sporepedia#qry=usr-camelfox%7C500187326455
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camelfox
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PostSubject: Re: Security Breach   Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:48 pm

i MAY make a v3, but the dark is not gomma change really.
grammar... yeah. i suck at that anyway. so i cant; REALLy fix it.
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camelfox
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PostSubject: Re: Security Breach   Tue Aug 31, 2010 10:49 pm

argh. had to release V3 http://www.spore.com/sporepedia#qry=sast-500650393426
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PostSubject: Re: Security Breach   Today at 7:02 pm

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