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 My First Short Film

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camelfox
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PostSubject: My First Short Film   Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:54 pm

hey guys, i finally got my Editing rig built, got a bunch of professional video editing software, and i finally filmed my first ever short film. its called "Worth Fighting For" please give it a watch, and as much feedback as possible would be greatly appreciated. thanks in advance guys! oh, and theres guns, so if your against guns, ...dont watch it.
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Gelatino95
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PostSubject: Re: My First Short Film   Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:54 pm

That was pretty sweet (get it?)

criticisms:

1. some parts had way too much microphone noise, it was really distracting from the music and dialogue

2. probably would have been way funnier if you hadn't shown the kit kat bar right at the beginning

3. the fistfight scene somehow wasn't very convincing

4. It's kind of hard to tell what side these people are on, but that could be intentional?
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camelfox
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PostSubject: Re: My First Short Film   Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:32 am

1) yeah, that was two things: the wind, and the fact that im filming with a DSLR and not an actual video camera with an actual microphone. Working on that.
2)we tried it with that but then it was unclear in the end that the kitkat bar was actually the artifact
3) ascari wasnt wearing his glasses, so he couldnt see, and fish cant see anyway, so it was sort of like asking two blind people to have a fistfight without hurting eachother. Could have gone better, i agree.
4) i see what you mean, and on some lever it was intentional, but it should have been a little bit more clear.

Thanks for the feedback!
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Gelatino95
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PostSubject: Re: My First Short Film   Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:03 am

Well, if you want to bring more attention to the artifact, I might suggest making it more visible throughout the film. Maybe have it change hands a few more times, and maybe have it fly through the air in slow motion at some point. That would make for a pretty cool scene. When people see the box enough times, it'll become obvious that that's what they're fighting for, and the anticipation will be greater when someone finally opens the box, only to find that there is a kit kat bar inside.

And one final note: at the end, when the words come on the screen, it seems a bit like some sort of commercial instead of an action film. I might suggest getting rid of the picture that goes along with the words, because that's pretty obviously just placing the name of the product in plain view, which many advertisements are prone to do. Also, maybe you should make the text a bit more subtle, less glaringly apparent.



Maybe something like this? It's not too overwhelming, and the typewriter-style text has sort of a "secret agent" vibe to it, which is great for this video.
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camelfox
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PostSubject: Re: My First Short Film   Wed Jan 16, 2013 12:49 am

yeah... so i just got kicked out of my after effects class, and reported to like the police, all because of that video. so tonight I'm taking apart my editing rig, selling the parts on ebay, and then I'm deleting my youtube
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Gelatino95
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PostSubject: Re: My First Short Film   Wed Jan 16, 2013 5:21 am

That sounds incredibly stupid

Why would you get kicked out because of that video, it wasn't that bad
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DRaGO
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PostSubject: Re: My First Short Film   Wed Jan 16, 2013 5:51 am

camelfox wrote:
yeah... so i just got kicked out of my after effects class, and reported to like the police, all because of that video. so tonight I'm taking apart my editing rig, selling the parts on ebay, and then I'm deleting my youtube
Dude...

Take a breather for a second. You've fallen on some pretty crappy luck, but that doesn't mean you should just get up and sell all your equipment. Great people in the past have fallen on some insanely bad luck, and everyone shunned them. But they believed in what they could accomplish and later became renowned for what they did. You have a chance to become one of those people; don't conform to what's expected, and don't lay down without a fight.

Also, I'm just wondering, but WHY did you get kicked from your class, and who THE F*** reported you to the police? And how is that video responsible? Okay, maybe it had guns in it, and maybe you guys are all too young to be using them, but I would have thought that they were all fakes, and you weren't, in fact, firing real bullets. Anyone could see that.

If all else fails, you can report this story to PhillyD and hope he covers it in the Philip Defranco Show. But that's a last-ditch effort.
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PostSubject: Re: My First Short Film   Wed Jan 16, 2013 11:46 pm

Ok seriously, why were you reported to the goddamn police for a video containing Airsoft guns?! That's a complete waste of time that could be spent on actual crimes rather than 3 kids running around with a video camera and unloaded Airsoft guns on their OWN PROPERTY.

You can clearly see that all the guns are fake, including the shotgun that lacks the orange tip. I don't know about who was teaching you, but if I were you, I would seriously recommend telling off the person who kicked you out of the class(F, S, D, both B and C bombs optional, but still recommended to get your point across) inform your parents about the subject and getting them to take action against what you're getting and joining a university class on video editing when you graduate instead of your high-school one. The classes in high school don't really teach you anything worthwhile anyway besides the absolute basics of editing, and the university classes literally have zero requirements to enter. If anyone tells you that you HAVE to have the high school class to get into the higher level ones, they are lieing.

So don't fret about it. Don't dismantle what you love doing just from one incident.
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PostSubject: Re: My First Short Film   Thu Jan 17, 2013 12:13 am

The only reason I believe anyone would be reported to the police and then required to dismantle their apparatus is if the equipment they were using was stolen, which can't be the case because you're selling yours, Camel.

I second Terwynd at every point he has (including the various bombs, but don't take it from me; I'm Australian and I swear a lot regardless), and that you should take action against this downright stupid turn of events.

I only hope you haven't already started selling your equipment.
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PostSubject: Re: My First Short Film   Thu Jan 17, 2013 7:24 pm

No. Thanks for the advice. I put my rig back togeter. Needless to say i did it wrong so it wont boot up, but im keeping it
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DRaGO
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PostSubject: Re: My First Short Film   Thu Jan 17, 2013 10:01 pm

*big sigh of relief*
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camelfox
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PostSubject: Re: My First Short Film   Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:23 am

...and just to spit on those idiots,
we filmed another one.


take a look, and tell me what you think!
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PostSubject: Re: My First Short Film   Today at 7:04 am

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